Identify Stress Behaviors
Communicate to reduce anxiety.
We are all feeling the stress of change in our lives right now and that strain can show up in our communication when we least expect it. If you have recently been resistant, challenging, impatient, stubborn or uptight and reclusive with people you care about then you know what I mean. The good news is those are all clues that we give, to tell others we are under stress. When these clues are sent out, people on the receiving end have the opportunity to help reduce anxiety and lower someone else’s stress level.
Keep in mind that thriving organizations look like healthy, not perfect, families. Healthy families and organizations honor the uniqueness of each individual by valuing the strength they bring and helping to reduce anxiety where possible. In the last article I talked about healthy families and organizations having strategies that help them thrive in the midst of difficult circumstances. Strategy number one is, moving towards each other and being visible in times of crisis (see previous article for details ).
Strategy #2. Healthy families and organizations communicate intentionally in times of stress. Social scientists have discovered that there are four main personality types and each of these personalities communicate differently, especially during times of stress. The DISC personality indicator is one of my go-to tools to help people understand themselves and each other better.
Each personality type shows their response to stress differently and there are specific words and things we can do that either increase or decrease their anxiety.
For example, if you or someone you know has recently been more impatient, argumentative or is trying to bury themselves in work, they may be more D wired (on the DISC). If you have a child or employee that has been more resistant, rebellious, strong-willed or angry they may be more D wired as well.
To reduce the stress of a D wired person put them in charge of something. Give them something in their world that they can control, especially when everything seems out of control, and you will see a calmer person emerge. (If you want a personalized information click here)
On the other hand, if you have been more easily distracted, inattentive to details, over promising and underdelivering, you may be more I wired. If you have a child or an employee that has been more physically active than usual, impatient, loud, chatty and doing crazy things trying to get your attention they may be more I wired as well.
The lack of people and variety during quarantine is incredibly stressful for I wired people and they will need lot’s of time to talk. Letting them verbalize their world and be the center of attention for a few minutes will bring that anxiety meter down to a manageable level. Encourage them to have virtual meals with co-workers and friends or join a virtual networking group. If appropriate they also need to get outside and expend pent up energy.
In contrast to the D’s and I’s, there are others who have slowed down their pace to a crawl or a standstill, become very resistant to change and are extremely sensitive right now. If that is you. you may be S wired. If your child or employee is being more stubborn than usual or is saying yes they will do something but not actually getting it done that is an indicator they are more S wired.
An S wired person needs confidence to help them get unstuck when they are stressed. They need security and assurance that everything is going to be ok. They are very empathetic and tone matters. Slow down your pace and speak to them in even friendly tones. Give them a project they can knock out of the park to build their confidence.
Those who are C wired, respond to stress by turning into fact finding machines, over organizing, hyper cleaning and becoming very critical. If have noticed your child or employee being more uptight, reclusive or argumentative they may be more C wired.
If you are experiencing a stressed C wired person give them lots of space and quiet. Explain why you are asking them to do things then give them time to process. The more you talk the more they will argue with you. C wired people are typically very accurate and like to be asked their opinion but in times of stress they do not always like to make decisions.
As a leader, it is our responsibility to adjust and communicate effectively to those around us in times of stress. When we can recognize behaviors as signs of stress and not signs of opposition we can stay connected, work to reduce stress and resolve issues.
If you would like more personalized information on your individual DISC style click this link I would be happy to help you.
