If it’s your first time
It is someone else’s too
Today is a day of firsts. Not only is it Monday and the first day of the work week but where I live, today is the first day of school. For some, it’s their first day sending a child off to school. For others it’s their last first day of school with a child. For some, it is their first day stepping into the brink as a new teacher. For others, it’s their first day in a new position.
You see, someone somewhere today started a new job, stepped up to a promotion, has their first big meeting, is meeting someone for the first time, is doing something they have never done before. Life is full of first times.
The first time often brings on anxious anticipation and lots of questions. What will it be like? Will they like me? Am I up to the challenge? What if I make a mistake? I have found that when I am embarking on something new, the more I focus on me the more nervous I get. Notice all of the ‘I’s” in the questions above?
Years ago I used to get extremely nervous every time I spoke in front of a crowd no matter how large or small. I would prepare and prepare and the day of the event I would be sick to my stomach with nerves. Just before I took the stage I felt like I was going to throw up. This happened for years, till one day I heard these magic words, “It’s not about you.”
Now, don’t get me wrong, the preparation is about me. We all have to put in the work to be excellent at what we do. But once it’s time, it isn’t about you. It’s all about the other person or people. Once I made the switch to being other focused my nerves disappeared. My questions went from, will they like me? To, how can I serve them? From, what if I make a mistake to what do they need?
I heard a story about a man in his 80’s who was transitioning to a senior assisted living home. The facility that the man was moving into was brand new and most of the homes were still being built. The man told his family that he was going to be the first one to move in. His family told him, he didn’t have to do that. He could wait till other people were there too so he wouldn’t be alone. But the man replied that he wanted to be the first so he could be there to greet the others as they arrived. He knew that transitions like this were difficult and he wanted them to know he was there with them and it was going to be ok. It was his first time in a new home as well but his focus on others made the transition easier for him and those that were joining him.
I know of an introverted high school student that is the first one on campus everyday so that he can make sure everything is clean organized and comfortable for the teachers and students as they arrive. His nervousness disappears in his service to others.
What are you doing for the first time? If it is your first time it is someone else’s too. People at their core want to know three things from you. Do you know me? Do you care about me? Can you help me? Demonstrating your answer to these three questions makes everyone’s first time, the best time.
