Have you ever reached out to someone, didn’t get a response, contacted them again, and after time, it’s like they fell off the planet? This is often referred to as being “ghosted.”
When it happens to us, it can make us feel vulnerable and lead to frustration and anger. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and fill in the empty void with your own assumptions.
These thoughts may be running through your head…
- They are communicating with others, why not me?
- They are flat-out ignoring me, why?
- What have I done to them?
- I’m being taken advantage of!
It’s tough to not take getting ghosted personally. Why you’re getting ghosted usually stems from the other party’s fear of disappointing you. The ironic thing is that ghosting makes trusting each other very difficult and makes matters worse.
Understanding that ghosting is a breakdown of communication and the other individual doesn’t want to let you down, create a safe atmosphere for them to be completely honest.
They most likely ghost you because their work for you isn’t going to be completed on time or they are struggling in an area and are afraid to ask questions.
The best approach is to see them face to face. Emails, personal messages, and texts are too easy to ignore when someone feels behind the eight ball and not wanting to be confronted.
Open and honest lines of trust and communication are necessary on both sides.
You, as a leader, should take the first step.
- Make sure YOU aren’t the one ghosting.
I get it. You’re busy. Time is of the essence. If you’re in heads-down work mode and not intentionally reaching out to your team to check in on them, they will make assumptions that the lack of communication means they are doing something wrong or you don’t care about their contributions to the organization. They are more likely to feel unappreciated. - Be intentional with face-to-face meetings.
By being face-to-face, you’re able to be more personal. Build into your calendar recurring check-in times with your team. Create an agenda of discussion items to make them productive. Group and individual meetings may be necessary to see progress with projects. - Avoid exclusively task-related conversations.
Yes, you have a job to do and you must receive task-related updates on projects. You should remember, however, a to-do list does not form a good relationship. Invest the time in listening to your team on a more personal level to better understand their point of view. Steer your conversation focus on ideas, opinions, and genuine discussion.
Learning how to communicate more effectively to avoid being ghosted benefits both leaders and teams. If you are feeling the effects of discord within your team, it may be time for a connection tune-up for your office. Schedule a complimentary consultation and see if our Communication Impact Workshop is the right fit for your organization.
